5 Nice Things to Do for Mom During the Zombie Apocalypse

Oh crap. Somewhere between the end of the world and the start of summer, you completely forgot it was Mother’s Day. If you’re lucky enough to have your mom along on this misadventure — and she’s still keeping an eye on the calendar — here are five simple things you can do to make sure her post-apocalyptic day is a special one.

Double up on watches so she can sleep in or take a nap. Studies conducted by yours truly indicate naps greatly missed by 99.9% of adults in the modern world. Imagine how much more you’ll miss them when the dead rise.

Make her a cocktail. It’s actually fine to drink during the zombie apocalypse — just don’t overdo it! If you can’t raid a supermarket or liquor store, try brewing some moonshine in the nearest bathtub. She’ll appreciate your industriousness.

Pick her some flowers. Unless you’re living in a supernatural and/or sci-fi version of earth, where the actual planet is in tatters, you’ll probably find tons of flowers springing up in overgrown gardens, by roadsides, or in meadows. Just make sure there isn’t something hiding under the foliage waiting for a tasty snack.

Get her some fancy dishware. I’ll bet you ten bucks that when humanity starts raiding the malls and box stores for survival gear, they’re going to straight up ignore the fine china. If your mother was a fan of this in the old world, get her a set. She will probably never use it and have to abandon it as soon as your latest hiding spot is overrun, but it’s the thought that counts.

Take care of the cleaning/laundry/whatever. I assume that at some point you guys tend to your post-apocalyptic abode, and let’s face it, it’s usually the mothers (and women) who get stuck with this gig. Turn on the generator, let Mom watch some DVDs and take your best shot at tidying up. And for heaven’s sake, stop swearing at the fitted sheet.

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