The Great Shamelessness

So my fridge broke again. They sent in a guy to fix it; he said “No fix” and left (he also spoke no English), and they swapped it out.

“Between 12 and 2,” the appointment read.

Of course, the dude shows up at 8:45. I greeted him in my PJs. Juno wolf whistled at one point. Delivery dude sort of blinked. I pointed at the bird. “Sorry. It’s not that kind of movie.”


In other news, am poking through The Iliad and Achilles calls Agamemnon “The Great Shamelessness,” which I may steal as a nickname for Juno, who I occasionally refer to as Viserys (she has a golden crown and talks big). Just to keep things straight, I might write down an “Iliad for the rest of us,” which I imagine goes something like this:


HOMER: One day, Achillies got mad, and here’s why.

PRIEST: Give me my daughter.

AGAMEMNON: Actually, she’s hotter than my wife. Also, nicer. I’m going to keep her.

PRIEST: Apollo, can you smite them or something?

APOLLO: Sure. [sends down plague]


ACHILLES: Dude, what is this shit?

GREEK PSYCHIC: Promise you won’t let Agamemnon hurt me?

ACHILLES: Pinky swear.

GREEK PSYCHIC: It’s because we won’t give that priest back his daughter. So we’re getting plagues and stuff.

AGAMEMNON: Hey, I’m benevolent when I feel like it. I don’t want my people harmed. I will give him back his totally bodacious daughter…but I’m taking Achilles’ wench.

ACHILLES: But I did ALL THE FIGHTING and you just sat there and waved your scepter!

AGAMEMNON: I’m the lord of all men, bitch. Deal.

ACHILLES: I am totally not fighting for you anymore.

NESTOR: Here, let me tell you all a war story, wherein I mention I dealt with better men than either of you whippersnappers have.

ACHILLES: Fine! Take my hot chick! I’ll just sit here and cry!

HOMER: And then Breseis was hauled off to Agamemnon’s tent, to polish his silverware and make his bed and do all kinds of other stuff.


THETIS: Zeus, my son’s getting teased on the battlefield again.

[end book one]

I also found–thank you, Google Books–The Story of King Lear, written in 1904, which explores all the Lear/Leir foundation stories and their influence on Shakespeare. It’s interesting reading; alas, the writer had far more schooling than I am, and thus quotes entire verses in Latin and Old English without providing translations, which…doesn’t help me much, being that I only understand basic Spanish, but it’s interesting to see how often this story has been passed down.

Book one keeps getting bigger. I remain mortified. Am devoting these next few days to polishing up the first quarter–the original short story–to post on mah websitez, and then I’m actually going to hunker down and work on Sailor’s Luck for awhile.

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